Burritoville Should Be Called Microwaveville

There are several things Hialeah needs like a good sushi restaurant, a good mall, a bagel shop, ~~restrictions on how many chickens a person can own in a private home~~ and a good Mexican restaurant. I was hoping that this post would be a positive one, but alas that ain’t finna happen. I thought I had found a solution to one of Hialeah’s many problems when I stumbled upon Burritoville in nearby Miami Springs, but man was I wrong. I went twice for lunch to make sure I got a good idea of what the place was like and the picture I put together was store-bought and preheated crap. The place itself is cute, located in the center of a small shopping plaza with a lot of outdoor seating, but we all know looking cute ain’t everything.

On my first visit, I went with their Jamaican Jerk Steak burrito. Now don’t ask me what Jamaican jerk seasoning has ANYTHING to do with Mexican cuisine, pero all I know is that it didn’t taste that bad. Now the menu boasts that this burrito is “very spicy” and it comes filled with refried beans, Spanish rice, jack cheese and sweet plantains. The burrito was rolled up like a giant taquito with both ends oozing out its contents. I took my first bite and bit into a cold plantain, lovely. The steak tasted fresh and was hot, but not "very spicy" by any standard. The slight sprinkling of cheese wasn’t even melted in the burrito. The rice and refried beans were warm, at best. I’ve always had a thing about refried beans; they give me the heebie-jeebies and remind me of something I’d find in a baby’s dirty diaper. I digress, the rice, refried beans and plantains all tasted decent and had they been made fresh or left in the microwave a bit longer, they might’ve been better. I was left disappointed, but I didn’t want to give up on this place yet.

The inside of the burrito... yummy looking, no?

Initially the service was attentive, but as my meal progressed it shifted from attentive to forgetful. Asking for more water was like engaging in the battle of Tabasco. When I first sat down, I was brought some tortilla chips and salsa. The waitress did mention their salsa is homemade and I did notice chunks of fresh tomato and cilantro. At first, the waitress was nice, but once my meal was served it was as if she no longer wanted to be bothered. I had to fight the urge to tell the waitress, “Oye vieja, la propina todavia no se ha dado. Miraver si te pones las pilas.” For my non-spanish speaking amigos that translates to, “Excuse me ma’am, but your tip hasn’t been given just yet. Prompter service would be appreciated.”

On my second and final visit, I decided to go with their Chicken Tacos al Carbon. They are supposed to be marinated chicken tacos with guacamole, sour cream and pico de gallo served with a side of Spanish rice and those pesky refried beans. You have the option of having your tacos on corn or flour tortillas. I asked my ~~shitty~~ lovely waitress which one was homemade and was told neither, so I just went with the flour tortillas. Now I know I ain’t Mexican, but thanks to Taco Bell I think I know what a taco is supposed to look like. What I got were three flour tortillas rolled up like enchiladas and topped with guacamole (that is also store bought), sour cream and pico de gallo. The contents of the flour tortillas were warm, tasteless and unseasoned chicken breast. That chicken had absolutely no flavor and was obviously the previous night’s leftovers. This time around the refried beans were cold and had a stingy sprinkling of unmelted cheese. The Spanish rice was the best part of the meal, it was actually warm and flavorful, but good rice isn’t enough to make me go back to this place.

I decided not to even wait for the check since I had the unfortunate luck of getting the same waitress. I left my money on the table and walked off. The best part was having the waitress catch me as I was walking away (she probably thought I skipped out on the bill) to ask if I wanted anything else. Of course I didn’t want anything else. I took my hungry ass to Casa Marin in Hialeah and ate a Cuban sandwich, which is probably what I should’ve done in the first place. Until then, I wait patiently til someone (or myself) opens up a good Mexican restaurant in/near Hialeah.

Don’t bother with Burritoville, if you want Mexican food close to Hialeah go to Taco Bell before hitting this place up. Not only was the food cold and reheated not fresh and lacking flavor, saying the service was poor is an understatement.

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Restaurant Details:

Burritoville

(305) 863-2224

1 Curtiss Pkwy

Miami Springs, FL 33166

burritovillemiamisprings.com